**Content warning: depictions of mental illness and suicidal ideation.**
late night train ride kicking a crumpled piece of newspaper well, olds-paper you don't know why you're here and you're not sure if anything matters at all if you get home early for the first meal of the day, or if you can afford a sleep before it all resumes tomorrow windy tunnel; wonder if the intangible force can help you take away anything
'burnout kids' - what they would say what you would tell yourself times and again when snoozing your alarms
no time to cry never was, never will be
'phoenix will rise again from the ashes' - what they would say what you would tell yourself times and again when typing your life away on the keyboard
writing and deleting and writing once more and deleting everything what will you be if not of use to others? who will love you when you hit rock bottom and decide to stay there? who will stay with you?
why are you pushed down by yourself? knowing you're capable of more than what you have right now hurts you you fight like hell to be the survivor, to be the fittest in every challenge but your ability to fight is a curse from the start
when did you get this bitter? damaging and toxic relationships that were never fully cut off
you know living is heartless and brutal you long for silence of the final ending why can't battles be ceased for one second?
the railway is too close, you wonder what will happen if you walk those few steps
'different nights, same nightmare' you find it funny how you never get enough of sleep
still you're dying to wake up
cecilia-a is a science student who constantly tries to make sense of everything around her. She can be found most of the time walking slowly out of a crowd or sitting on the floor of some quiet places with thousands of thoughts running through her mind at the same time.